Xmas Shortbread Baking!

This morning I stumbled out of bed at 8:00am; the sky clearly hadn't yet recovered from it's gurgles and grumbles from last night and the clouds kept themselves huddled close together like a silver quilt over the suburbs.
M and I had signed ourselves up for some shortbread baking for the homeless in chapel street, so off we went on the rickerting tram to find ourselves in a large silver-top kitchen and several other women. M and I worked as a team; I melted the butter and M mixed the dry ingredients. Women were coming from all over, "Mine doesn't look like yours.. yours looks better than mine", "Maybe you can cut mine into pieces, I'll ruin it", "She does this for a living". Although these attitudes were somewhat complimentary, it was sad to see women in their middle-aged curls are upset faces to feel so insecure in their abilities.
The melting of the butter and the kneading of the mixture, as I spread it evenly into each corner of the pan was meditative and relaxing, an aroma of sweet butter poured into the room out of the ovens, pushing the little whiffs of hair off of our faces and warming our cheeks.

It was nice knowing that our efforts were going to a good cause; that people that otherwise would have eaten nothing, got to enjoy some of the biscuits we spent that morning baking. It was exactly what I had wanted to do lately; bake some amazing foods, give them to neighbours, friends, family, all just for the sake of it, because I felt like it. So todays mission was a great outlet for that.

I've been feeling good today, my mind hasn't been completely focussed, but more to the point I haven't been particularly strict with myself, I found that cooking compensated for a meditation though that is a lazy way out I suppose.. I HAVE TO STICK WITH PLAN *whoochi*
Look at that, making jokes. To begin with I saw that as bad, like 'I feel good therefore does that mean I'm happy I'm not with Jade?' but as my sister wisely corrected me, 'It shows that you still remained yourself in the relationship so you're okay with being by yourself, if you gave yourself up completely and became-an almost-extension of them, then you would feel as though you literally couldn't live without them. Some of what you miss might be because of loneliness or habit, that any other person could fill in, and some of it is missing what they brought into the relationship. Usually when you keep yourself busy you don't have time to be alone and think about things, you don't feel as reliant on the relationship'

I don't quite know what love 'means' anymore, a wise person once told me that love is different for everyone. I'm starting to think that maybe love isn't as scarce as what everyone makes it out to be, maybe it's enjoying somebody's company, or perhaps it's feeling like they make life better... I believe that the most; when you're in love you don't necessarily feel like you can't be happy without that person, but life is better with them. You can share your inner-self with them, and they can share their inner-self with you, and when you feel connected- that is love.