Go With the Flow and Dance!

At a similar period of time where I began having thoughts of other people, particularly during sex- although I am not suggesting, that the following is the very cause -I became more self conscious of myself, and specifically whilst I was dancing. I never used to care what I looked like, I just danced. It came from being at parties where people didn't dance with me, so I learnt to love my own dancing and to dance by myself, express my self in my movement.

Recently I remember feeling in a state of unknowing what to do with myself, do I move my hips like this? How do I make myself look like that person? Do I look sexy enough while I dance? I used to be better. < Thoughts like that. However that is precisely what makes you even 'worse' at dancing, because you're no longer feeling the music, you're thinking about it.

Similarly, it's more common for men to think about other women during sex than it is for women to think about men during sex, could this have something to do with the fact that women in this society are more so in-tune with their feelings and more expressive of them, then men are? Men are more frequently greater thinkers (as in, think more often) and perhaps this correlates as to why men have higher rates of depression than women (of course aside from post-natal depression.) and therefore as to why they more commonly the gender to think about other people during sex.

So perhaps there is a link, between being in your head too much and not being able to dance confidently. In fact, confidence comes down to feeling yourself and not thinking about what you're going to feel or what you think you should do to appear or feel confident; just being is confidence. As goes with sex; when you're not expressing your true, inner self and you're more worried about what you look like, how you act, or what your partner wants you to do, etc, not only are you decreasing the amount of love you give that person and therefore more likely to seek other partners during sex or have sexual fantasies about other people, but you also get stuck in your head, and then thinking about just ANYTHING which makes the pleasure drop at a 180º angle.

I think the key is actually to get 'caught up' in it all; for me personally, the greatest sex I've ever had-physical pleasure wise- was actually when I was so caught up in it, I didn't think about anything at all and I just went with the flow.

Isn't it funny that the saying goes, 'people that are good at dancing are good in bed'! Well there you go! Perhaps it all has to do with being in the present, and doing what you really want to - not what your mind (which isn't YOU) wants to!