Of course its always the times you need sleep the most, and when you have all the time in the world and nobody asking anything of you, that you can't sleep, sit, wait and wish-as the song goes- and you look out your window in the middle of the night hoping that the person you're thinking about hears your thoughts and some how miraculously replies to you.
I cannot tell if it was just myself, but tonight I was on the computer and out of no where came this voice saying 'I love you Angelique'. Have I turned into a schizophrenic since he's been gone? or did something.. happen? I can't be sure. I was lying in bed earlier thinking about him, and I thought.. maybe he's online!? I went online; he wasn't asleep! and he updated his status several minutes later, I liked it.. I had to, because I genuinely liked it and I wasn't going to hold back just because we said we weren't going to talk for the next week or so.
So here I am, feeling alive and in the present.. well I was, now not so much; the computer does that. MAYBE THATS BEEN THE PROBLEM ALL ALONG
maybe. anyway, I'm working on myself.
Why didn't I have this eagerness and show this much enthusiasm for a lack of sleep when it was most wanted?
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