Overcoming

To overcome something -a thought, fear, OCD, or any kind of issue- you must do the exact opposite
It takes practice. But it can be achieved.
Months ago, about a year ago, I had bad bad thoughts. I had thoughts about horrible situations, hurting, killing people, people killing me, all my dreams were about me being killed, someone being after me or the people I love; but then my boyfriend at the time told me something.
First he accepted me :)
He told me it was okay and reassured me that I was a good person
He asked me why I had those thoughts and dreams
He then told me 'you're not your thoughts'; this is very often forgotten-especially by myself!
He then told me not to worry about it 'just stop thinking about it, you don't even need to think about not thinking about it.. just stop' -It wasn't in those words but thats how I interpreted it.
He also told me to change the thought, put it into a different context, make it funny, stupid, silly. Make the thought something you are no longer scared of, from there you no longer worry about it, your focus on it disintegrates and soon you think what you want to think.

Slowly over time (and when I began to relax more), the thoughts went away, I didn't have compulsions to do or say things, I no longer had visions when hugging someone that I wanted to stab them. The watching of dark, creepy and films with the topic of murder and such, also made the frequency of these thoughts heighten, so once I stopped watching them the thoughts also stopped.
But mostly the thoughts went away simply because I stopped thinking about them, and eventually my dreams. My dreams became more 'normal'.

But then other problems arose, which I'm sure you're aware of as to what they were if you have read previous posts from me this month. I will not go into them now, but that is my strategy.

It's not good having my once-loveable partner away from me, now that he is my 'ex'. It's not good at all, I cannot say thank you to him enough for all the times he helped me. I prey and hope that he learnt things from me also, that I helped me in some ways. I hope I made him as happy as he made me, even more. I hope he is so happy now. I still love him, and I think with a more greatly trained mind I will be able to feel and realise that more so. Not just realise it when I'm sad, but during every day life.