What is the point? There isn't really one
To bring yourself happiness, bring happiness into other's lives
I think we all know what we have to do deep down, what our purpose is; we just need to do it, and have some happiness along the way :)
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Try, keep trying, keep fucking trying and then fucking try again, and again and again, until you are where you want to be. Death is the last door we open in this life, but even then who knows; it might be a door leading to 100 billion thousand trillion more doors.
All we can do is try, and keep trying and no let anything in our way.
Yes it can be hard.
Yes it will take a fuck-load of effort, and time, and commitment, and perseverance and some more effort, some more time and a lot of patience.
But it can and will happen.
I have been wanting to be a vet since I was 4 years old. For 13 years it's been my dream, unfortunately its always only ever seemed like a dream, and I felt like it was going to continue being easy and everything was going to be given to me if I did nothing but be alive. Like I'm oh so special to the world. I meant something to my parents, that's why they gave me things just because they felt like it and wanted to make me a happy and satisfied person. But the world isn't like that, I'm not yet at the point where people want me to be somewhere just because I am who I am. What have I done to prove I deserve it? Nothing.
Love isn't a feeling, it's a verb. I have recently learnt that, and now I have to apply it in every single aspect of my life.
It might take me 10, 20 years to become a vet, but if that is the only way I can live a life where I fulfill my thirst for knowledge, save and protect animals as well as living a physical, hands on, practical career, I will do it.
I will work my way through a simple degree in uni, work really freaking hard, hope luck is on my side for getting into a science degree, do really well in that, hope my luck is on my side for transferring into another university or another course, try really hard and hope I do well and finally, hope I get into veterinary science... then spend 6 years hoping I do well in that too. Then I'll be poor.. have to spend two years getting practical experience before attaining the title 'doctor', I'll then have to take my studies overseas with the little money I have and offer my knowledge and skills to organisations whose ethics I connect with.
Where in that scenario do I have kids? Live in a place where I call home?
I guess all I can do is hope that love is maintained and holding strong between my partner and I throughout the entire journey, find the mental strength to leave work at work and study at study time and concentrate only on my partner when I'm with him. If children don't come our way, lets hope becoming a vet was as fulfilling as I hoped it would be!
But then, what if job opportunities arrive for my partner, and he has to move? Do I move with him? Do I stay and he moves and we begin a long-distance relationship and hope we see each other again soon?
But then what if there are other ways to help animals? What if making lots of money fast is the key to helping animals? I have lots of money = giving some to charity towards the protection and care for animals + I can pay to get into veterinary school without the grades OR I have the money to volunteer overseas and work with vets but not actually be a vet.... somehow I feel like that would make me happier.
Because it sounds less risky? But making a lot of money fast is risky, thats why most people don't do it.. thats why most people spend their time at uni or work, working hard... so maybe I feel the second option would make me happier because it would, and it's less risky?
But how would I make money? Listen to my brother, read LOTS about LOTS, and LOTS of that lots about money, understand the art of saving, understand that being successful doesn't mean having flashy nice things soon, but later rather.
Time to get to work.
And love my boyfriend who is here for me all the time, that does so much for me, who I can feel truly does care about me. He helped take off my shoes when I was in sickbay, was late to class for me, asked for pain-killers for me, listened to the venting and depression for me, gave me second and third and fourth and fifth chances for me, when he didn't have to. He's always been here for me, I am SO thankful for him, I am so thankful that he exists in the world, the world needs him. I need him too at the moment, because I'm not emotionally stable, but thats not why I want to be with him. I want to be with him because we connect, and enjoy being with him, he makes me happy.
This talk is over. The internet doesn't need to know anymore.
All we can do is try, and keep trying and no let anything in our way.
Yes it can be hard.
Yes it will take a fuck-load of effort, and time, and commitment, and perseverance and some more effort, some more time and a lot of patience.
But it can and will happen.
I have been wanting to be a vet since I was 4 years old. For 13 years it's been my dream, unfortunately its always only ever seemed like a dream, and I felt like it was going to continue being easy and everything was going to be given to me if I did nothing but be alive. Like I'm oh so special to the world. I meant something to my parents, that's why they gave me things just because they felt like it and wanted to make me a happy and satisfied person. But the world isn't like that, I'm not yet at the point where people want me to be somewhere just because I am who I am. What have I done to prove I deserve it? Nothing.
Love isn't a feeling, it's a verb. I have recently learnt that, and now I have to apply it in every single aspect of my life.
It might take me 10, 20 years to become a vet, but if that is the only way I can live a life where I fulfill my thirst for knowledge, save and protect animals as well as living a physical, hands on, practical career, I will do it.
I will work my way through a simple degree in uni, work really freaking hard, hope luck is on my side for getting into a science degree, do really well in that, hope my luck is on my side for transferring into another university or another course, try really hard and hope I do well and finally, hope I get into veterinary science... then spend 6 years hoping I do well in that too. Then I'll be poor.. have to spend two years getting practical experience before attaining the title 'doctor', I'll then have to take my studies overseas with the little money I have and offer my knowledge and skills to organisations whose ethics I connect with.
Where in that scenario do I have kids? Live in a place where I call home?
I guess all I can do is hope that love is maintained and holding strong between my partner and I throughout the entire journey, find the mental strength to leave work at work and study at study time and concentrate only on my partner when I'm with him. If children don't come our way, lets hope becoming a vet was as fulfilling as I hoped it would be!
But then, what if job opportunities arrive for my partner, and he has to move? Do I move with him? Do I stay and he moves and we begin a long-distance relationship and hope we see each other again soon?
But then what if there are other ways to help animals? What if making lots of money fast is the key to helping animals? I have lots of money = giving some to charity towards the protection and care for animals + I can pay to get into veterinary school without the grades OR I have the money to volunteer overseas and work with vets but not actually be a vet.... somehow I feel like that would make me happier.
Because it sounds less risky? But making a lot of money fast is risky, thats why most people don't do it.. thats why most people spend their time at uni or work, working hard... so maybe I feel the second option would make me happier because it would, and it's less risky?
But how would I make money? Listen to my brother, read LOTS about LOTS, and LOTS of that lots about money, understand the art of saving, understand that being successful doesn't mean having flashy nice things soon, but later rather.
Time to get to work.
And love my boyfriend who is here for me all the time, that does so much for me, who I can feel truly does care about me. He helped take off my shoes when I was in sickbay, was late to class for me, asked for pain-killers for me, listened to the venting and depression for me, gave me second and third and fourth and fifth chances for me, when he didn't have to. He's always been here for me, I am SO thankful for him, I am so thankful that he exists in the world, the world needs him. I need him too at the moment, because I'm not emotionally stable, but thats not why I want to be with him. I want to be with him because we connect, and enjoy being with him, he makes me happy.
This talk is over. The internet doesn't need to know anymore.
Monday, September 5, 2011
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