The opinion I should have said in class, or at least more detailed than what I stated in class.

My english language teacher gave my class an eighty minute rant on feminism this morning.
Sure, I agree that men and women are equal and should be treated equally, and I realise that the term 'feminist' means equilibrium between men and women, however I think a lot of opinions and thoughts that feminists hold away from their title, give them the stereotype that they have in today's society.

My teacher (who I will refer to as msj) went into discussing, or more lecturing rather, the pictures displayed at the front of newspapers. Some famous girl with flimsy, half-decent clothing on, on the front of the Herald Sun.
"It is wrong on both men and women parts, suggesting that men only think about one thing all of the time and women are only seen on a physical basis! Women are going to look at her and go "wow wish I looked like that" or think "guys will only like me if I look and dress a certain way, they will love me if I show half of my body", while guys are sitting there going "yeah look at the tits on her!" How is that okay?! What is that teaching people? Women are treated like animals!"

Maybe its just me, but I believe there are a lot of things I think are 'wrong' about her argument.
See, men and women brains are completely different. Men are made to want to have sex, be interested in the matter and if they're of straight-sexuality, be interested in looking at an attractive woman. This isn't to say guys only care about sex, it's just to say that men think about sex more than women do on a general basis and when we're talking about selling newspapers, we're talking about men and women on a general basis and the general men and women in our society.
If a woman has consented to be at the front of a newspaper in revealing clothing whether its just for the money and/or the satisfaction of getting her bits out there to impress, how is it wrong that it's going to grab a mans attention? It's selling the newspaper! Was that not the point to begin with?

Women have sex hormones too, and like men, they want to seem appealing. You don't see attractive men on the front of newspaper covers, because women aren't as likely to become mentally and sexually stimulated by it as men are when they see an attractive woman on the cover.
If women look at the cover and think "I should look like that!" That is their own issue, their individual insecurity. Why is it suddenly the medias job to make women feel good about themselves? Would that sell money in the long term? Nope. I'm not saying it is right, but it is the way society functions.

Another topic msj brought up was the debate about women having to stay home and look after the kids while men went out and worked. Allegedly, it is wrong that men expect women to look after the family and expect a meal on the table when they get home while they go out in the world and work, bringing in the money.
You know, as much as we deny it or try to hide ourselves from the fact, the truth is that when it comes to our life style, a lot of it runs from animal instincts. We are all animals at the end of the day, yes we are technologically advanced but again, we have those hormones that tell us to behave in a certain way. Most women instinctively, want to have children at some point in their life. They have high levels or hormones that allow them to be nurturing and affectionate to bring up a child. The man is going to have to provide for this; like women, the animalistic point of life, is to reproduce; so how does a man do that? Well he has that testosterone for a reason, he can easily create muscle and is usually bigger than a woman. Well he's probably not going to look after the children in his tribe and clean the 'nest', he is going to go 'hunt', he's going to get with the other males in the tribe and go get dinner so the woman and child can live, he's going to protect his family and land because he wants there to be a suitable, good place for HIS child and the children within his tribe, he wants them to be brought up healthy and to survive so they can continue this process.
In this day and age, women are having the kids, working, trying (or at least trying to try) to stay sexually appealing and are looking after the home, what good is that to anyone? A lot of women want to have the kids but want the man to stay at home while they bring home the bread and create a career. It's called a balance, something I think everybody should come to terms with. We have hormones for a reason, of course we can go out there and make a career for our selves and what not, but by going against what really is nature and thinking that we can do it all and be the man and woman, is not at all a balanced way of living and is completely denying the truth of what we are biologically.

On top of all the opinions, I wasn't at school to learn about this, I wasn't in history, philosophy or in the debating team, I was in english LANGUAGE. And it's not like msj was encouraging us to hold and share our own opinion, she said on a couple of occasions, "I believe this and I hope you guys do or will..." That is not a stable teaching method. It is not going to produce balanced, open minded young thinkers at the end of it and if that isn't what school is about, I don't want any part of it.

I'm not sure if I went on my own rant there, going off topic in any places. But that is my opinion. I can say that msj set me to expressing and thinking more deeply into my own opinion, though it was wrong that we were looked down at if we had different opinions and expressed them in class, which was the case to the few that spoke up very shortly at the end of her speech-that had not a pause in the entire thing.

The 1 000 000 000+ nerves

Every pinky-touch tickled the one billion(+) nerves inside of me.

Those one billion nerves chuckled at sight of his face, the electricity tarantelled in my veins and up my spine, into my cheeks, sprouting out. 

My tongue laced his, our hands graced across one another's chests. One billion nerves dived deep down south.

His eyes, of dodger blue were the most real I had ever seen; his smile of chocolate cream and baked apple was so pure, he was perfection. 

At 630am the train station was cool and placid. The piddling people hunched black hoodies over their heads, hands cuddling their trouser pockets, scraping their feet across the frosted stone. 

Platform 1- 6am, platform 2- 550am and platform 3- 720am. Every clock had a different time, I hopped on the arriving train and sway myself along to your smile (pun inteded). 

7am I knocked on his window. He immediately bounced out of cotton sheets and came to the door, topless. Our lips buttered one another's and I joined him back in bed. It was cosy and just a little over heated for my leg warmers and doubled layer. 

His skin eased against mine; we weren't there for one thing. 

When the moment was felicitous, we unbuttoned and wrapped ourselves around each other unable to be any closer.

Chocolate mud cake filled our empty breakfast-bellies. Milk along side with a hummus and tabouli wrap. A family so giving lived around us, to-be-weds and long distance relatives conversed.

But for me there were only two people in the room; Two people eating chocolate cake with milk, and a hummus wrap.

I love us.

midnight drop

She is an incredible artist; her paintings reveal the essence of her subconscious, the colours of energy dancing around her and the passive, yet determined, large heart she holds bursts out in every stroke.
Tonight she painted a lion for a guy, he's with another woman, but she is persisting. This painting is for his birthday.
Take a look for yourself,

comments, feedback? let her know(through my blogger comments) or check out her facebook: http://www.facebook.com/madeleinescahill

A bit all over the place

I miss my best friend, one of them anyway. I shall call him W in this blog. 
We spent so much time together and there wasn't a single thing I kept from him, we were such great friends. I don't spend enough time with him, I don't put enough time aside for him away from my extra- curricular activities, exercise, the school work I do-do, other people in my life, family, doing things I love doing such as baking. I'm not complaining about my life as it is, I just wish there was more time to see him.
I've spent a lot of time with my boyfriend lately, that isn't to say I don't want to, I absolutely love every second I spend with him and don't regret putting him first as naturally I'm going to put him first and as cliche as it sounds, he is the love of my life. I am just saying that I can see W is going to eventually give up on our friendship and wont stick around, I mean its disappointing to think somebody so close would give up or just walk away like that, but I guess it's the way it goes.
I have to reconnect with him.

Everything I go to write about seems pointless.
When you find out that somebodies life is practically on the line, or is on the way to potentially being on the line, even if you weren't close to them or like them or even know them. If they are connected to your life in any way, it really... opens your eyes to how much absolute shit you talk about. To my disappointment I counted calories yesterday. I know, completely and utterly disgusting, for me anyway. Today I find out horrific news, I didn't even know the person that was going through the certain situation but my stomach fell to my gut, it was like... a slap in the face for being so stupid about everything I ever thought or took for advantage, I was counting calories while this person was dealing with a life threat? how pathetic am I! I really felt for the person, I'm sure their situation will clear and they will be completely fine but it was still such a shock, and I was so shocked at the fact that I was shocked.

Had a fantastic talk with my sister tonight. She actually is the only person other than J that understands me, or what I strive for in life rather. How I want to live life.
How are we to get anywhere and experience things when we are stuck in a four-walled society, surrounded by people who have never experienced anything and have never strived for it? people who just listen to their parents or respected friends, coworkers, etc. and tell you that what you want to do is a stupid idea and that one day you will just regret your decisions, how are we to live the life we want?
We have so many fears of what could go wrong, will we be poor? get sick? get killed? lose friends, family? what will my peers think of me? BUT WHAT IF.. you find the job of your dreams that you would never have found if you listened to everyone else? what if you meet the most amazing people with incredible stories of their journeys that open your eyes? what if you experience the very essence of nature? what if you are happy?
Why do we stand in our given position when we are desperately trying to escape, how are we not desperate enough to jump out of that plane into the world?
It is your life, if it made you happy at some time or another, why regret it?
Everything happens for a reason.. but sometimes you need to guide the way. Fate is only the mile stones in your life, but there is never only one choice.
I want to grow up and be able to say to people, that I had no set-in-stone idea of where I was going, how I was going to get by even, but I did everything for my own happiness and I was true to myself. that is what is important.

No school.. I'll do this instead

21st/4th/10

Spent six hours of my day today putting together a 2000 word over-view for my SAC which is worth more than 50% of my mark for unit 3!

How much is there to know about key foods such as meat. nuts&legumes, milk, eggs, fruit and vegetables? A LOT! It turns out that there is B12 in meat and that with a variety of different vegetables and legumes, a vegetarian can be healthy and consume all the nutrients needed, including sufficient levels of iron and protein; the most commonly debated natural food components for vegetarians. (as if I didn't already know that :P)

I went to the gym tonight, went to the best zumba class yet. My top was completely saturated in sweat giving everybody a full view of my chest, my hair was soaking like I had dangled the 1/3rd of it in the bath and my stomach grumbled 'feed me' for the next 3 hours that I spent at my friends place because I couldn't get inside my own house. My sister went out with her man-friend-person and didn't get back until 10 from a yoga class *raises eyebrows*, while I surprising left my key at home.

So now it's nearly twelve thirty, finally printed off my summary and am ready to get into bed.. warm.. cosy... dust mite breeding bed. Yes it is said that the typical(?) mattress contains 100 000 to 10 million dust mites.

Quite interesting organisms. They feed off our dead skin cells and survive from the moisture of, typically, our saliva. 'So in some ways, they prevent us from rolling in our own filth', this seems relatively true, however the thought of ten million organisms scratching around me (on me?) every night eating my dead cells and laying 60-100 eggs, kind of creeps me out. so I've decided to follow this plan

• Replace feather and down pillows with synthetic fillings.
• Enclose the mattress top and sides with a plastic cover, thoroughly vacuuming mattress pillows and the base of the bed.Dampen and wipe the plastic mattress cover daily.
• 
  
  Change and wash pillowcases, sheets, and under blankets, and vacuum the bed base and around the covered mattress weekly.
• 
  
  Use nylon blankets rather than woolen or cotton ones.
• 
  
  Frequently wash all bedding (blankets, mattress pads and comforters) in hot water (60^oC weekly). Also wash curtains.
• Replace carpets with wood, tile, linoleum or vinyl floor coverings. (If you have carpets, vacuum every day.)

I wont get carried away or obsessed with these creatures, they're part of life and help in a way, but come on... can you blame me for going a little out of my way to be free of them?

sighted:

http://www.microbiologybytes.com/video/mite.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_dust_mite

The best-est

19th/4th/10

So today I met my boyfriends best friend; tall, slim, sandy coloured hair, outstanding blue eyes, thick lips, oh and she's a.. 'she'.

All the times I had seen her photos on facebook; her at formals, photos with J, photos in bikinis and shoorrtt skirts, photos of her beaming smile, all the comments I had (since being a girl) read, the times J had spoken about her.

I'm not typically a jealous, possessive person but I would be lying if I said I had never had thoughts about their friendship and why it ever was only a friendship. Of course J and I had spoken, he had explained the fact that she was in fact too.. well whatever, that is beside the point. The point is, even though I was assured, I knew they had never had any past experiences with each other and there was not a single part of me that was suspicious that there ever would be, I still wanted to seem more appealing than her, well it was the physical side I was concerned about. He had spoken about her legs, how she rubs them all over him 'like a bastard' because they were really great, her photos on facebook I mean.. I had seen them myself, she seemed very pretty indeed.

But today I MET this girl, his best friend of three years. naturally I was nervous and didn't exactly want to meet her until I had accomplished my gym goal and was glowing, but then I met her.. and.. I was no longer insecure.

Sure she had thin legs, had brilliant blue eyes and very succulent lips but I didn't like them. I had always like legs with a bit of meat on them, a bit of muscle and not 'thin' as such, regardless of what she looked like.. I knew I was better, well I believed it anyway. I came in confidently and looked her in the eye, I was aware of my body language and made sure I didn't come across nervous or up-myself, I said hello when J and I first approached her. I noticed she passed my glance, when she looked around she skipped my eyes and actually only looked me in the eye twice in the twenty minutes or so we met up. She spoke the whole time, mostly to J, even though her own boyfriend was there also (who might I add seemed slightly uncomfortable- intimidated even, by her boisterousness). She had her ex-boyfriend's student ID cards in her wallet, 'he's the guy from last summer' she would say as J fumbled through her wallet, eventually finding his own card.

I was actually surprised that as soon as I met her, all my insecurities let go; I loved my body the way it was, I loved my face the way it was, I definitely loved my personality more than I did before. and in this context, by love I mean acceptance.

All I needed to do was to meet the girl who had known J for years to realise that I was in fact good enough. I mean, sure I bet she's a great friend and when you get to know her she has a fantastic personality, but I had spent so long thinking that surely at some point she would have been better for him and that I just wasn't right.. but now.. I BELIEVE IN MYSELF! and thats all it took.. was to meet a subconscious 'opposition'.

The very start

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