Fcuk

I felt hopeless, I felt.. so alone and you are so distant, I hate it. I hate not having you around, not being able to look at you or hug you and kiss you. and frankly, I'm not a big fan of myself at the moment either. I haven't been assertive, self-confident, or hold much will power.
People want to sell me shit and I gave this woman my email (my old email) 'incase I want to buy online', I let some woman who wasn't the woman who said she would do it, put two braids in my hair that looked like shit, said it was okay to her only to take it all out straight away once I walked out of the place, and then the guy who always says hello to us at the restaurant was like 'when are you leaving?' and i said 'in half an hour' and hes like 'youre not even going to say goodbye to me!?' and came over, and I put out my hand to shake it and he gives me a hug and I stand there with my hands looking as if they've been crippled into a position of an epileptic attack after being disgusted or something, hating it. I even bloody smiled at that guy again, like the idiot I am. I've been a hormonal bitch the whole day to absolutely everyone and have not stopped complaining. not even now. fcuk.

Thailand

The two sand-tangled ropes holding the dark wooden plank above the rocks and crushed shells, swaying in delight, as ruby tanned eight year olds throw their little browned arms over and pull themselves up. Hot air boiling their blonde trickling skin, bringing little pea drops of sweat to their dirty palms and long, thin muscular legs.

Sandy Woman

She was the kind of woman who wasn’t necessarily the woman of your dreams, but the kind of woman you’d fall in love with, just for one night, before she would scamper off and never see her again, and you wouldn't really mind.
She's not a prostitute, but a thin, free spirited love child who grew up to give her love freely to anyone who wanted it, because she believes that her spirit path. She is the same girl who cries when she is alone, begging for a stable life, without one night intimacies behind the rocks on the shore of the salty crested sea. The type of woman who expects everything yet nothing she gets. She walks fearlessly down blood-drenched streets, just to feel the spirit of the town, to feel the spirit of others. The open, non-judgemental hippy who was a skimpy thirty year old girl who seemed to not have yet experienced the full stretch of puberty; chest flat and a smooth golden stomach. Her skin was dipped in sunshine with long mattered blonde hair, twisted around her bony shoulders. Yet somehow through all the grief she was subjected to in her life, she found comfort in her ragged, ocean waves of emotion. The way they break, she sees as an adventure, or maybe the beginning of a new life, an opportunity to find stability. In those sandy mattered locks that weave her dreams around her shoulders, carrying her fearlessly through the rusty streets.