A smile on my face

Taylor swift puts it correctly, 'you're so in love that you act insane'.

I've been on quite the emotional journey lately, and came to realise that I'm actually a pretty emotional person.. I even cried of happiness, for the second time in my life. Along side, I have scraped terrible words off from the bottom of the tank that's sits in my chest, full of emotion and pushed them up to my eyes, accidentally letting them sprout out and fall like thick rocks of hail.
I looked at the same person in three different lights, each was as beautiful as the last, but each sang words further and further away from the last.
To be rejected, to be enjoyed, to be kissed, to be held, to be pushed away, to be tough, to be strong, to be weak, to be scared, to be loved. 
Everybody is on a quest for love, but some are more open to it than others.
Some will open up to anyone with a unique shine, others will close off when they get a taste of it.
Love does hurt. It is hard. Everybody says it is difficult... but it isn't as hard as they make it out to be, yet the moments when it is hard.. it's harder than anything you've ever had to deal with, you are consistently struggling through quick sand.
You won't allow yourself to throw up, but the urge sits there.. and sits there.. and when you're asked for a smile you give one completely square.
And then you get drawn back up, the elastics kick in and you're flying with the view of the whole world in front of our eyes. You sing in laughter and celebrate such survival, such relief.
I was myself again, I just needed one hell of a slap in the face, a taste of breakage on my tongue... confusion and utter sadness to fill me up until BAM! The answer is clearly scented on a clean platter under my nose.
I felt that loneliness, to really feel the paint at my tips.. to know what to do with such shades.
And now I look at him, and he is the greatest person alive, as always.
But this time, I am me; it is I who loves he and his own is given to me in return.
A balance.
A needed balance.
Love was once described as a luxury.
A smile on my face.