I guess no man really needs to know all of this (unless he's a 'victim' or otherwise called, a partner to a woman in these situations).. but I'm just putting it out there.
So maybe only 15 percent of women get PMS bad enough for it to have an effect on their day to day activities. That percentage seems all swell and fine, until that time of the month comes again and BAM! you're up their with the other 15 percent thinking, darnit.. should have cut out the pork this month and eaten more beans. (that's another story)
I feel like complaining, so here it is.
PMS is natures way of saying, 'FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING CONTRACEPTION! You didn't get pregnant?.. how unfortunate, well I'm sure you wont mind dealing with a bit of this then? It's only aching legs'. Okay nature. fine, throw in a couple thousand bruises all over my legs that nobody can tell are there except me. It's okay, being a woman means having big thighs anyway, right? I mean who needs to go to the gym every week when we can sit around and have babies(or in this case sit and winge in pain). I guess you proved me right there, you did.
'Oh sorry ladies, since you wont be able to walk to school with those aching legs I guess you wont need the focus of your brain hey?' Okay, you're starting to cross the line, leg pains fine.. headaches? mmmm... I guess I don't mind headaches that much anyway.. I mean, I once had a continuous one for four days.. and then ended up in hospital, blacking out.
but that was good fun.
thanks body.
'So I was thinking of increasing your need for protein? But of course if you didn't get pregnant.. that probably means there's no man in your life.. which means no luscious, protein dinner for you! But you collect berries, ahA! Good. You can crave sugar instead... but I secretly just want protein.'
Thanks for the heads up, maybe if you weren't so sneaky I'd give you what you wanted, but instead most women (including myself, even though I know otherwise) spend their whole lives indulging on chocolate during PMS because they think that's what it want's, but I guess that also helps lower the stress levels.. WHICH MIGHT I ADD, OUR BODY CHUCKS IN!
just for the hell of it.
just so we can be stressed out even more so about the fact that our whole bodies are churning in pain, and because the man didn't 'knock us up', who needs 'em? right? yeah that's right, I'll just yell abuse at him for completely pointless and irrational reasons and feel like a jackass afterward.
I mean other than the nausea, the shits, THE BLOOD! I DIDN'T MENTION THE BLOOD!
Okay so you knew about that, that was a given.. you knew about that since fourth grade didn't you?
So, some of us women have a pretty hectic time trying to even supply enough materials to get rid of the stuff, of course there are those lucky bitches girls who get their period (well they say it's a period but it's more like a paper cut) for like three or four days max and the TADA SEE YOU IN 32 DAYS!
But for the chicks who have to wear a frigging dipper or shove some cotton up their pun for a week or more and then see it in 28 days or less.. its pretty bloody annoying. period. both puns intended.
But as I was saying, other than all of these things..
... there are cramps
the true punishment for not getting pregnant.
I haven't had a child yet, but I have a theory that a woman's period pain can get up to the same level of pain as that of child birth.
I also have another theory: it is the same amount of pain as when you get stabbed.
Though I wouldn't fancy testing that one out.. so I hope to never come to a conclusion on that one.
However, it feels as though there is a continuous stabbing just below your stomach, but then after the big hits, you are left with an aching echo, curled up on your side in bed, tightly holding a hot water bottle to your body with one hand, the other is grasping into your pillow for dear life as you yell out 'fuck' every two seconds.
and then come the tears. because at that point, you hate being a woman. and some how the multiple orgasms don't make up for it..
the pain is worse than getting the back of your thighs waxed, and take it from me, that is one hell of a journey.
So that was my complaint.. and the pain killers have finally kicked in, so the world is a better place now, for all.
Thanks body for allowing me to experience such hassles.. at least I get to really appreciate the painless times.. :)
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