This is more for my sake than yours.
Until the end of year nine, my family thought I was going to be a lesbian.
I burped as loud and abruptly as my dad, disliked wearing nice things, hated the colour pink, was a total slob, didn't care if I had mud and grass stains all over me, and if I did it was because I was scared at the yelling I'd get from my mum who did and still does my unbelievable amount of washing. When I was fourteen I loved guys clothing, I loved big baggy jumpers- hoodies with no zips to be precise, I loved my old shoes and comfy jeans, I refused to wear any make up(and still do) and I cursed more than a sailor. (and of course the burping and other things still continued). OH and I told everyone I didn't like guys up until I got my 'first boyfriend' (it sounds like I'm a man eater if I don't put in the '')
Now I am sixteen, all of my traits are the same, however I've started to like wearing nice things.
That's about the only thing that has changed. oh other than J, who I love dearly.. and is a boy.
But I have come to realisation.. that I'm not straight.
I mean, why go write this on my blog? Who cares right? like why put it out there unless people ask for it? hmmm.. I'm excited about this discovery, or more.. honesty.
It lurked through me every time I looked at a girl, I could be taking photos of half a boob with my best friend to send to some guy she liked and be wishing that we'd just start making out, and then as I was falling asleep I fantasized about some big, round breasted, long blonde haired, loud-moaning naked chick bouncing in my face.
That was a weird night.
Further more, it was then that I came to terms with my sexuality. I laughed and kept it to myself. I had people I hardly knew ask me if I was but my answer was always no, no and no.
And the thing is, I couldn't 'be' with a woman, I don't think I could ever be in a relationship with one, I don't understand how men do!
We're wingers, moody, a lot of us are insecure thus hideously jealous, the most of us talk about absolute crap and always expect some sort of conversation, we like being the centre of attention(or maybe that's just me:P) and we get hell bitchy on one another. I really don't know how men stand us, all the same I am heavily appreciative :D My point is, I just find women ravishing, sexy... ultra appealing.
So, I'm a bisexual. funny how that happens... HOWEVER, I am predominately attracted to guys, guys are.. guys.. they're.. aahh, guys are just meant to fit with girls. nature made them perfectly.. it made all of us perfectly.... but nature made one guy in particular with a bucket of blue beryl, that whispers through his eyes and grew him hair of golden-deliciousness, it threw in some magic and let his jaw mature so it could hold the grand, bone-steps behind the most luscious lips you could ever imagine and a tongue of treacle.
That is only to describe his outer appearance, the way the world sees him.. just imagine what you find behind those ocean lit eyes.. a soul as magnificent as the sun, I can tell you that.
Oh and I completely forgot why I started this post, oh yeah.. well I can't really be bothered now.. but I was going to talk about me loving songs that remind me of J, and as soon as he leaves the room after kissing me I jump around in a circle with delight, his name lights up on the screen and does the same in my heart. I'm a girl, what can I say?
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