Regret is a Valuable Lesson
I regret a lot of things now a day. A lot of things I do that I never think I will and then I end up completely angry at myself for doing them, for giving into someones shit, for not speaking up for myself, for not putting my foot down, for not rejecting someone, for not telling someone to fuck off when I should have, for letting people waste my time.
I can't sit around and blame the world for my problems, I can't blame the men that pretend they know me in order for me to stop and talk to them so that they can try pick me up and then get annoyed when I lie and say I have a boyfriend and they literally ask me why I stopped for them, and it's a bloody good question, why did I do that/let that happen? But it fucking sucks having to answer it, or justify yourself, because you completely know you did the wrong thing, immensely in regard to yourself, and if it were in a different circumstance you could have easily done the wrong by someone else - and that is even more scary.
The problem is me, it is ourselves; habits, insecurities, naivety. It is not the cause, it is how we react to the cause that makes us disappointed in ourselves or proud of ourselves. thats the whole thing, reaction, not proaction.
I never used to believe in regrets. Now I do, but I am learning to only believe in them because they provide massive lessons to us, that may not be able to be learnt otherwise.
One day, when we have understood, learnt, challenged and grown, we will have the wisdom and experience that is valuable to help teach and provide rest-assuring comfort to others in similar positions. The worst thing about regrets is that they're often embarrassing, you know that you're better than that and that is exactly why you regret it. and so to admit it to other people is daunting, fucking terrifying and humiliating. But once you get yourself through it, the hard miles, the beat-up, the anger, you come out knowing that you have learnt from it and now it doesn't have to happen again, as long as you keep aware of yourself. From there, you will have a greater, stronger, more genuine ability to give assistance; a trustworthy, empathetic, compassionate personality.
Now the key isn't to think about your ability to help others in the future when they're in a similar situation, when you're in the dumps and humiliating remorse, or whatever the toll has been of the experience(whatever that may have been). The key is to focus on yourself, identify what went wrong and correct yourself, hard line engrain into your skin, blood and bones what it is that you want and who you want to be, and then you will naturally get to to a point where you will forgive yourself; from there you will be able to help others greatly.
I can't sit around and blame the world for my problems, I can't blame the men that pretend they know me in order for me to stop and talk to them so that they can try pick me up and then get annoyed when I lie and say I have a boyfriend and they literally ask me why I stopped for them, and it's a bloody good question, why did I do that/let that happen? But it fucking sucks having to answer it, or justify yourself, because you completely know you did the wrong thing, immensely in regard to yourself, and if it were in a different circumstance you could have easily done the wrong by someone else - and that is even more scary.
The problem is me, it is ourselves; habits, insecurities, naivety. It is not the cause, it is how we react to the cause that makes us disappointed in ourselves or proud of ourselves. thats the whole thing, reaction, not proaction.
I never used to believe in regrets. Now I do, but I am learning to only believe in them because they provide massive lessons to us, that may not be able to be learnt otherwise.
One day, when we have understood, learnt, challenged and grown, we will have the wisdom and experience that is valuable to help teach and provide rest-assuring comfort to others in similar positions. The worst thing about regrets is that they're often embarrassing, you know that you're better than that and that is exactly why you regret it. and so to admit it to other people is daunting, fucking terrifying and humiliating. But once you get yourself through it, the hard miles, the beat-up, the anger, you come out knowing that you have learnt from it and now it doesn't have to happen again, as long as you keep aware of yourself. From there, you will have a greater, stronger, more genuine ability to give assistance; a trustworthy, empathetic, compassionate personality.
Now the key isn't to think about your ability to help others in the future when they're in a similar situation, when you're in the dumps and humiliating remorse, or whatever the toll has been of the experience(whatever that may have been). The key is to focus on yourself, identify what went wrong and correct yourself, hard line engrain into your skin, blood and bones what it is that you want and who you want to be, and then you will naturally get to to a point where you will forgive yourself; from there you will be able to help others greatly.
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